Friday, February 13, 2009

Schnecken in der Kirche

So I have not been sleeping well this week. Between 60+ mph winds the night before last and waking up with every little noise on other nights, I haven't been getting good sleep. This has made for some rather odd dreams.

One night this week, I had a dream that all of my family and a lot of my extended family had come out to Ohio. I remember that there was some big event going on in my life that they all came out for, but I don't remember what it was exactly. But I remember every family member that showed up, one after another. Maybe I'm thinking ahead to the Nauvoo trip that we're planning for next summer? The odd part was that they were all there to see me. Wishful thinking, perhaps?

Last night I had a lot of short, weird little dreams, one right after the other. It was during my after-seminary sleep, which today was less than an hour-and-a-half long (I had a hard time getting to sleep, and then someone's alarm clock went off). When said alarm went off, I stayed half-asleep for a bit. I was awake enough that I could remember the dreams I had been having after I was fully awake, but asleep enough that I could replay them too. Does that make sense? Anyway, one of the little dreams I had was in the church building, and there were all these snails along the walls and in the corners of the cultural hall where the basketball court is. But for some reason instead of leaving slime trails on the court, they had left huge scratches all over. We were trying to figure out what had made all those scratches, and they led us to discover the snails. Random.

Another little dream I had involved an evil caramel sauce that kept appearing out of fabric and woodwork and carpets and even out of ice. It was an evil caramel sauce seeping with evil that was controlled by a dead woman who had it out for me. That caramel sauce was trying to kill me! And it kept appearing everywhere. At this point, my dad would say bad pizza. I did have lasagna last night for dinner...

Then this morning while I was waking up, Linus said something to me auf Deutsch, and I started rambling in half-asleep German about the songbird that had been singing outside (I know it's not spring yet, but I love it when the little birds think it's coming), and then about the dreams I'd had, and then I started "singing" (it was more like Sprechstimme) a song that our German teacher taught us in high school, and then more ramblings about my dreams. All from my bed while Linus was brushing his teeth and intermittently telling me, "I don't understand a word you just said." He does speak German, just not Carrie's garbled, half-asleep Sprechstimme German.

And so my morning sounded like this (I apologize for any bad grammar. I was half asleep):

Linus, opening the blinds and spotting a bird book in German that is currently sitting under the window: "Welcher Vogel ist das?" [Which bird is that?]

Me: "Es gab ein Vogel heut' Morgen." [There was a bird this morning.]

Linus: "What?"

Me (obviously I thought I was being very clear): "Es gab ein Vogel heut' Morgen." [There was a bird this morning.]

Linus: "I don't understand a word you just said." (ala old Cache Valley man in Napoleon Dynamite)

Me: "Ein Vogel hat gesungen. Heut' Morgen. Es war ein fröhlicher Gesang. Der Vogel war so glücklich." [A bird was singing. This morning. It was a happy song. The bird was so happy.]

Linus walks over to lean over me: "What are you talking about?"

Me (frustrated): "Ein Vogel hat gesungen." [A bird was singing.]

Linus: "A bird has what?"

Me (maybe another verb tense will work): "Der Vogel sang." [The bird sang.]

Linus: "Oh." Linus walks off to brush his teeth.

I continue in a sing-songy Sprechstimme: "Die Gedanken sind frei. Wer kann sie erraten, wenn sie fliegen vorbei wie nächtliche Schatten? Kein Mensch kann sie wissen, kein Jäger sie schiessen. Es bleibet dabei, die Gedanken sind frei." [Thoughts are free. Who can guess them, when they fly by like shadows of the night? No man can know them, no hunter can shoot them. It remains therefore that thoughts are free.]

I hobble out of bed still not quite all there, but I need to pack Linus a lunch. As I walk by the bathroom, Linus says: "What was that squawking in there?"

Me (remembering my dreams now): "Es gab Schnecken in der Kirche." [There were snails in the church.]

Linus: "Ham in the church?"

Me: "No! Schnecken! In der Kirche! Schnecken!" [No! Snails! In the Church! Snails!]

Linus: "Ham in the cherry? What?"

Me: "Schnecken. Schnecken. Snails." I start walking down the stairs and mutter, "Und eine böse caramel-Soße." [And an evil caramel sauce.]

I imagine Linus at this point goes back to his hair and teeth, shaking his head and laughing at the sleepy wife.

Downstairs, I sing my Gedanken song again, a little less Sprechstimme this time and more song, as I forrage for the right size container for some leftover lasagna. Linus walks in after I've finished my song and his lasagna, and I ask, "Willst du Apfelsoße -- Apfelsaft --" [Do you want apple sauce -- apple juice --]

Linus: "Apfelsaft gespritzt?" [Sparkling apple juice?]

Me: "Apfelmus. Willst du Apfelmus?" As I rummage for a jar of applesauce.

Linus: "Ok. But you know what's going to happen if you keep speaking German like this, don't you?"

I shake my head.

Linus: "You won't be able to speak Farsi when you go to your Farsi lesson. So you should stop speaking German now."

Me (Linus, I apologize, I don't know how to romanize Farsi): "Baraye-inkeh man Farsi ra nemi- nemi- ... I don't remember how to say I don't remember. Baraye-inkeh man Farsi ra nemidunam. Farsi ra ya Farsi?" [First Farsi phrase: Because Farsi I don't - ... Second Farsi phrase: Because I don't know Farsi. Is it Farsi ra or Farsi?]

Linus: "Ask your Tehranian."

Me (pouting): "I don't want to ask her that. So tired. How do I say that? Man mi-khaham (pronounced Dari style) be khab (again a nice Dari style khwa instead of kha) beravam-...beram." [I want to go to bed. (First I said the verb "beravam" formally and then said it informally "beram")]

Linus trying to get out the door, gives me a peck on the cheek: "Good...well, I love you. Have a good day."

And there were no floor-scratching snails or evil caramel sauce from the grave trying to get me, so I'd say it was a good day.

4 comments:

Frau Magister said...

I was just thinking the other day how "cute" Dari sounds. Of course I had Nasro Jan stuck in my head at the time.

You need to take a hot bath and drink tea before you go to bed. I'm the older sister, so I can boss you around that way.

Anonymous said...

This is an hilarious posting. Like an I Love Lucy show when she can't communicate to Desi. Snails or ham in the church? I'll think of that at the next Ward Party. Ha, Ha, Ha. Mutti

Anonymous said...

Good job. I still think bad pizza the most likely explanation. Papa

Anonymous said...

You had me snickering non-stop at the evil caramel sauce (the girls probably are wondering what's the matter with me). Hee hee. And I actually know that German song! Thanks to Fritz Wunderlich. Totally cool that you can actually sing it in your sleep. I love the Schnecken in der Kirche. And Aunt Madam's reference to I Love Lucy is great. That morning conversation probably gave both you and Linus a good chuckle throughout the day. : )