Mother's Day

I was sitting in church today listening to a talk about what it means to be a mother when you don't have children, and all I could think of was my own Aunt Alice. (Did you know Alice had over 100 nieces, nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews and even one great-great-niece?) I was also reminded of a talk I gave when I was 17. My favorite moment was when an older lady in the congregation came up to me after I gave this talk, took my hand, and with a knowing smile said, "I had an 'Aunt Alice' too." Please forgive me for the length and remember I was 17 at the time, but if you're interested, here is that talk, which has always been dedicated to my Alice.

I have an aunt who from day one has always had problems with her health, but she has never let that get in the way of living a fulfilling life. She has worked hard to earn a living on her own and has loved and served the Lord in everything. But most importantly to me and thirty-three other nieces and nephews, she is a wonderful role model and has been a cherished mother to each one of us. You might be wondering how I can call a woman who has never been married and born children “mother.” That’s the point, though, womanhood is motherhood.

Sheri Dew taught in General Conference last October, “Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning . . . both God the Father and Adam called Eve ‘the mother of all living’ -- and they did so before she ever bore a child.”

All of us as children of Heavenly Parents have a divine nature that cannot be torn from us by mere mortality – as daughters of a Heavenly Mother, it follows that women have inherited their sacred role of mother. The Family Proclamation teaches us that “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose,” and President Hinckley has further taught that “God planted within women something divine.” That something divine, to quote Sister Dew again, is “the gift and gifts of motherhood.”

Elder Matthew Cowley explained that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls . . . and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” J Reuben Clark said of motherhood, it is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.” In her talk last October, Sister Dew said, “Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood . . . Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment he could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate.”

So what is this sacred role of mother that women are to play in life? The First Presidency six decades ago called it “the highest, holiest service . . . assumed by mankind,” and we see it in the Book of Mormon when the 2000 stripling warriors “did not doubt” because their “mothers knew it” and taught them, a teaching service that could have been performed by a Sunday school teacher. So if it had been a Sunday school teacher, would she have been a mother to those 2000 young men by giving them righteous direction? Yes.

Sister Dew describes the work of women in the following, “Loving and Leading – these words summarize not only the all-consuming work of the Father and the Son, but the essence of our labor, for our work is to help the Lord with His work.” Mother Eve set the perfect example for us, as Sister Dew continued, “She mothered all of mankind when she made the most courageous decision any woman has ever made and with Adam opened the way for us to progress. She set an example of womanhood for men to respect and women to follow, modeling the characteristics with which we as women have been endowed: heroic faith, a keen sensitivity to the Spirit, an abhorrence of evil, and complete selflessness. Like the Savior, ‘who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,’ Eve, for the joy of helping initiate the human family, endured the Fall. She loved us enough to help lead us.”

With the joy of motherhood, however, can also come pain. Though I at 17 have not experienced these things for myself, I have observed not only the pain that comes to a mother for her own children but also the pain that comes to a mother who cannot bear children here. I have seen it in my aunt. I know she probably longed to have children of her own when all of her 9 siblings had their own, but I also know that she has found comfort and joy in the glorious plan of the Lord and her role in it as a “vicarious” mother in this life. There was one time when she was visiting Arlington National Cemetery with one of her sisters, and her little niece, who had probably just had a lesson in church on the resurrection, looked out at all the graves, then looked up at Aunt Alice, and told her she should be buried here because she’d have a lot of men to chose from on Resurrection Morning if she were. As Sister Dew says, “The Lord’s timetable for us does not negate our nature . . . All around us are those who need to be loved and led . . . We are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation.”

Unfortunately, we live in a time when Satan is working hard to destroy the work of the Lord, and because of this, he has “declared war on motherhood,” which has always been “the Lord’s secret weapon,” to quote Sister Dew. Paul counseled in 1 Timothy chapter 4, and I’d like to apply this counsel to women of the church, “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron. Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Neglect not the gift that is in thee.” Satan would have us as women neglect that gift. He would have us follow the ways of the world, fall victim to the enticing trap that womanhood means denying motherhood and becoming more like man, or that womanhood means abandoning education and wisdom and the ability of independence for becoming an unequal and subservient partner in an unhealthy marriage.

The Prophet on the earth today has warned both men and women against these traps, counseling all to get an education and respect each other. In a talk to young adults he said, “I know that I am a child of God, part of His plan of creation, and that Adam is my father . . . [But] there was one after that, and that was Eve. She was the crowning creation. Don’t you young men ever think that you’re so smart in comparison with young women. The Lord created you . . . and then, as His prime creation, He created woman – Eve, she was the sublime, ultimate in all of His creations. Don’t any of you young men develop any kind of a superiority complex. It isn’t scriptural.” And I’d like to add to that, don’t any of you young women develop any kind of an inferiority complex – that isn’t scriptural either – the Family Proclamation describes us as equal partners.

I would like to echo Sister Dew’s words that the doctrine of motherhood is one “about which we must be clear if we hope to stand ‘steadfast and immovable’ regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. [Satan] knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the Kingdom of God will fail. Never has there been a greater need for righteous mothers. We just can’t let the Lord down. Every time we build the faith or reinforce the nobility of a young woman or man, every time we love or lead anyone even one small step along the path, we are true to our endowment and calling as mothers and in the process we build the kingdom of God. No woman who understands the gospel would ever think that any other work is more important or would every say, ‘I am just a mother,’ for mothers heal the souls of men. We are all mothers in Israel.”

I know that the doctrine of motherhood is true, and I feel privileged to have been endowed with this sacred gift from my Heavenly Father. I think it’s so beautiful that even if the Lord does not bless me or any woman with children in this life, He has endowed us with eternal motherhood, the blessings of which we can enjoy at all times. I have seen it with my precious Aunt Alice – my life would be so changed without her influence. I hope she understands, and all women, the incredible influence they can be on all around them, for we are all mothers in Israel.